Likes: terrorizing mortals; libraries; serious eyeshadow; chain wallets; suspiciously lifelike marble statues
Dislikes: people who aren't statues yet; bros; Perseus
[Facebook post: a story in which a gent tricks a bully into simply getting off the bus, which then drives away]
Proof that trolls can be heroes too.
This is the greatest thing in the world
Back in the day (1600s) Miyamoto Musashi was the greatest fucking swordsman Japan had ever seen. This one time, he was traveling by boat and this drunken asshole of a samurai was acting the fool, bullying other passengers and starting shit. Miyamoto asked the drunk to settle the fuck down, but the drunk was having none of it, and instead challenged Miyamoto to a duel for “insulting” him.
Miyamoto agreed, but urged the other man to wait until the boatman could stop at some suitable place where they could fight. Soon the boat pulled up at a little island, and Miyamoto courteously allowed the drunk to get off the boat first, at which Miyamoto ordered the boatman to immediately push the boat away from the island, leaving the belligerent samurai marooned. Thus Miyamoto won his battle without fighting.