Likes: terrorizing mortals; libraries; serious eyeshadow; chain wallets; suspiciously lifelike marble statues
Dislikes: people who aren't statues yet; bros; Perseus
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Oh damnation, I keep forgetting that on computers without Missing E, I can’t reblog myself, so I shall have to retell this all over again. Obvs Bwenner’s post put this in mind—
I dreamed that I was walking around campus, as one does, and everywhere I went, there were bros: big bros, small bros, loud bros, importunate bros, all up in my grille and indeed in the grille of every lady-type person within view. Cries of “HEY GURL” and “SMILE BABY” and “YOU LOOKIN FINE” rent the air, so I headed towards the only empty space I could see—the parking lot. “Don’t go that way!” someone yelled. “There’s an escaped leopard over there, and you’ll be killed!” I stopped for only the briefest of moments to weigh my options, and opted for the leopard. I awoke as the beast was pouncing on me, and I still did not regret my decision.
THE END