Just another blog by an ambiguously-gendered primeval monster.

Likes: terrorizing mortals; libraries; serious eyeshadow; chain wallets; suspiciously lifelike marble statues

Dislikes: people who aren't statues yet; bros; Perseus

16th October 2012

Quote reblogged from lilianavonk with 49 notes

I went to a Subway sandwich shop, and I said, ‘Let me have a bun,’ but she wouldn’t sell me just a bun. She said it had to have something on it. She told me it’s against regulations for Subway to sell just a bun; I guess the two halves ain’t supposed to touch. So, I said, ‘Alright, put some lettuce on it,’ which they did. They said, ‘That’ll be $1.75.’ I said, ‘It’s for a duck.’ They said, ‘Alright, well then it’s free.’ See, I did not know that — ducks eat for free at Subway. Had I known that, I would’ve ordered a much larger sandwich. ‘Lemme have the steak fajita sandwich, but don’t bother ringing it up, it’s for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want SunChips!’
— Mitch Hedberg (via cogito-ergo-wtf)

Tagged: mitch hedberghmm yes perfect

Source: anexperimentallife

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