Just another blog by an ambiguously-gendered primeval monster.

Likes: terrorizing mortals; libraries; serious eyeshadow; chain wallets; suspiciously lifelike marble statues

Dislikes: people who aren't statues yet; bros; Perseus

1st November 2012

Post reblogged from fuck yeah, hard femme! with 3,056 notes

machistado:

CHECK OUT TYRA BANKS RUNNING THROUGH NYC AND LOOKING HAGGARD WITHOUT MAKEUP! PLUS, WHAT YOU CAN DO TO KEEP YOUR MAN FROM EVER SEEING HOW FUCKING DISGUSTING YOU LOOK NATURALLY. WE HAVE THE SECRETS!

THE ROYAL SCANDAL OF ALL ROYAL SCANDALS! KATE MIDDLETON HAS BREASTS! SEE THE DUCHESS WITH HER TIDDAYS OUT AND FLOPPIN AROUND! WE ASK THE TOUGH QUESTIONS: “WTF WAS THAT STUPID SLUT THINKING?” AND MORE!

SHOCKING! JESSICA SIMPSON STILL A FAT WHALE AFTER HAVING A BABY ONLY A FEW MONTHS AGO! CHECK OUT THIS LIST OF CELEBS WHO HAD BABIES LAST WEEK. THEY LOOK LIKE FUGGIN’ WALRUSES ABOUT TO LOSE THEIR MEN! PLUS, HOW YOU CAN LOB OFF YOUR LIMBS WITH THE KNIVES IN YOUR KITCHEN AND LOSE WEIGHT FAST!

EXCLUSIVE: MORE WOMEN ARE INSECURE WITH THEIR BODIES THAN EVER BEFORE AND WE DON’T GET WHY THEY’RE SO EMOTIONAL. IS IT TIME TO BRING FAINTING COUCHES BACK? WE TACKLE THE ISSUE.


Tagged: i may have blogged this already but i don't carefuck gender

Source: machistado

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