Likes: terrorizing mortals; libraries; serious eyeshadow; chain wallets; suspiciously lifelike marble statues
Dislikes: people who aren't statues yet; bros; Perseus
[A ridiculous number of photos of Robert Smith and Simon Gallup in close proximity]
[Animated gif of Robert Smith being spoopy]
The zoo’s favorite drop bear, Robert, often engages in social grooming behaviors with his best friend, Simon, our lone thylacine. Once thought extinct, this predator would normally savage a cuddly little fuzzball like Robert, but perhaps loneliness, or a common bond as marsupials, has caused them to be compatible as friends and cagemates.
[Color photo of Robert Smith surrounded by goths]
[Color photo of Robert Smith, backlit and fluffy]
Robert singing Other Voices.
The 1980s saw a wave of panic spread throughout the United States due to rumors, promulgated by sensationalist mass media, that popular music was laden with Satanic messages. These rumors, while patently ridiculous, came close to a terrifying truth: many figures in popular music were, in fact, ardent Cthulhu cultists. Here, for instance, we see documentary photos of Robert Smith and video director Tim Pope, frolicking amid the tentacles of the Elder God Itself.
The music of artists as diverse as The Cure, Milli Vanilli, and Boy George contained coded communications to worshipers all over the world, as well as spells to raise the sleeping gods from the briny deeps. Although the 1990s are largely considered a soulless decade known for its fashion disasters and the decline of popular culture, these shifts actually represented the downfall of the lurid, decadent hold that Cthulhu-worship had on arts and entertainment throughout the previous decade. One could even say that the side-ponytail heralded a new dawn for humanity.
[Animated gifs: Simon helps Robert take a drink at a recent Cure concert]
Because epic moment is Epic.
[Surreally-tinted photo of Robert Smith semi-prone in a field of wildflowers]
[Animated gifs of Robert Smith performing, exceptionally fluffy]
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