Likes: terrorizing mortals; libraries; serious eyeshadow; chain wallets; suspiciously lifelike marble statues
Dislikes: people who aren't statues yet; bros; Perseus
A possum broke into an Australian bakery and ate so many pastries it couldn’t move. This is how they found him.
I live for this post
It’s Miami’s Little Havana, and guests on a Miami Culinary Tour are getting the inside story from El Equisito Restaurant, having already tasted their Cuban sandwich, the best in town.
The foodies who run MCT—the Cuban tour is priced at $59 for a two hour sampling— say this:
“We offer a different perspective on Miami because we are food people, we like to experience other cultures and learn about new places through food.”
If you were to press your heart close up against somebody else’s heart eventually your hearts will start beating at the same time. And two little babies in an incubator, their hearts will beat at the same time. Love that. So if you have somebody in your life that is prone to anxiety, like myself, and if you happen to be a calm person, you could come up and hug me heart to heart and my heart hopefully would slow to yours. And I just love that idea. Or maybe yours would speed up to mine. But either way, we’ll be there together.
[Color pic of Johnny Rotten covered in, and attempting to devour, some large pink gerberas]
Post with 7 notes
It’s Mother’s Day, I should do something nice for Rowland
EDIT: I’ll give her some of my enormous Mother’s Day self-care breakfast, it’s so easy to do nice things for rats
[Color photo of ramen with edible Hello Kitty heads]
Asked what she thinks of children, Vampira simply replies, “Delicious”
I think this may be relevant to your interests, auntie
IT WAS JUST THAT ONCE, GEEZ
My knowledge of ancient myths tells me differently.
YOU STAY DOWN THERE, SIOUXSIE SIOUX! I’ve read ONE TOO MANY fairytales to know you’re bullshitting me.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SHE IS OBVIOUSLY TOTALLY INCAPACITATED I MEAN JUST READ THE MACRO shhh even ancient eternal monster ladies need to eat okay
paper is not for eating
Post with 9 notes
Oh my god kid did you seriously act up and then stare me down like “U gon do something bitch”
you bet I’ll do something you little bastard, it’s at least an hour until I get lunch and I slept super poorly last night
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